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| el día final.... wow.
this will be my last entry from here in honduras. tear.
i cooked pizza for mi familia last night, turned out pretty dang good and it was a good thing i made two cause my other two married brothers and their familias showed up. not a bit of food was left in the place... ha.
so yeah... can´t wait to see you all. tomorrow night 10:57pm in g rap. i´ll be there.
paz afuerra, mis amigos. | | |
| life is well, todo cheque, except for my still dead-in-the-water essay.. hoping for inspiration to come soon.
I am realizing every day that my time here is short. I still almost wish I was coming back in the spring but I think I’m romanticizing it a bit. At home, I love my freedom too much, especially of diet. Also, I want to graduate. I am ready to go back to live on my own and with people who listen to my thoughts and feelings and want to talk with me about more than my physical well being as the situation is with my family ahora.
I feel not ready, though. As if I have issues to resolve before I go home. I need to prepare myself a bit as I know it’s going to be extremely strange but at the same time it will be a huge relief to be with the people I care about immensely, to just sit and talk face to face, laugh, joke, complain, encourage, sing, dance, lo que sea.
my adv lit class had a 10 pg essay originally due yesterday. First we got her to cut it to 5 pg, then push the deadline to Friday and then yesterday I asked for the deadline to be on Sunday. And we got it. Considering I hadn’t written a word it was a good thing she said yes.
today i had my first exam, paper Sunday, party with profs on Sunday, exam Monday, party with families on Tuesday, then wed 11:20am I will be in the tegus airport waiting for my flight at 1:20pm. Woot. | | |
| sometimes I just want to shake God by the shoulders and say “what were ya thinking? you’re making things harder for me here, dude. I thought I had you figured out a bit at least.”
had a bit of a shakeup this weekend during our trip to olancho, a province to the east of Honduras that holds 52 out of the 80 CRC churches in the country.
we went to visit an org called diaconia nacional which is associated with the CRC but run completely by hondureños.
they shared with us about the challenges, successes, and changes of their community projects,. these communities have transformed themselves into surprising representations of the first church in acts. such resolve, faith, trust, and joy. they are taking steps, some big, some small, at times backwards and others forwards, always with their trust fully in God and seeking to better their communities both in the physical parts (water systems, casas, irrigation, electric, escuelas, clinicas) and in the social, emotional, and spiritual elements. the unity among these hermanos y hermanas en cristo was a joy and commitment I have never seen in the US. for them, the church is not just part of their lives; it is their center for worship, business, counsel, learning.
they felt so blessed to see us, as well, which was odd considering I didn’t feel like I really had anything to offer besides a smile, handshake and a few questions. but why shouldn’t we greet our hermanos en cristo like this? they kept saying that “somos una familia en cristo.” I don’t hear these words very often in the US, and yes, it’s slightly cliché, but I was awestruck to be received with such open arms, warm smiles, and words of blessing.
reminded me of my role as a learner and listener instead of a teacher, focusing on what I have to say, my experience and how it should be applied here. the power I have as a US citizen that so many exercise to “teach” developing countries the ways of the “modern, progressive” world should not be abused in the former manner but used in ways that allow natives to build and change their situations as they see fit. there was not one gringo involved in the churches and their programs that they have going.
but to get to the point after all my cliché-filled rambling, i almost wanted to come back to Honduras in the spring to learn more about development and its workings in centroamérica. people make the world, and I want to impact more than middle class suburbanites.
I also pinpointed the hardest point in my time here. every time I am with our group, with my friends with whom I laugh, complain, discuss, and share, I love being here. these people are interested in similar topic as I am. they listen to the words I say and ask me questions, deeper than “¿cómo estás?”. mi familia, on the other hand, does not agree with my ideas about social justice and politics much less concern themselves with the greater issues of their pais and world or God. God is almost an afterthought, prayers for security but forgotten in attitudes and harsh words. this weekend the reality of His presence was central en las acciones de la gente. it’s just so odd to be living under the same roof with mi familia yet we are so far apart in terms of emotional connxn or true care for the other. or at least I haven’t seen the same desire or effort on their part which then affects my own willingness.
I am excited to go back to sylvan house with my dear amigas and also to my freedom of cooking, cleaning, coming, going without always explaining myself and trying to figure out if mi mama is really disappointed or not.
so I have rambled a lot… sorry.
wait on the Lord, o my soul.
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| got the pics to work on a previous entry.
had a sweet 3 days in olancho, honduras visiting various development projects. will fill y´all in later.
2 more essays and 10 days separate me from the good ol´ midwest.
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| let´s just say that i have had enough of el machismo en honduras.
3 males yelled comments at me as i walked here, just 5 min ago. the last of these lovely frases included the f word.
please pray that i don´t hit anyone.
i am filled with christ´s love. | | |
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